"Real" Monsters, and How they Fit the Art-Horror Scheme

We've talked a lot about the monsters of Noel Carroll’s art-horror. Monsters in movies, monsters in plays, monsters in novels. What we haven’t really talked about is “real,” monsters, and when I say real I mean the monsters that many people to this very day insist are somewhere treading this very earth doing monster-like things, occasionally being captured in controversial photos (then again, considering the things that can be done with Photoshop, every photo is questionable). There are a few monsters (and their variations) that I find worth discussing: Bigfoot, the Yeti, and the Loch Ness Monster. What are they? Why would any sensible person want to track them down?

I. Bigfoot/Sasquatch

The self-proclaimed “only scientific research organization exploring the bigfoot/sasquatch mystery,” BFRO, provides a very detailed description of the anatomy of “Sasquatch,” a bastardized version of a Native American term meaning “Wild Man” (no that’s not a joke). Apparently Bigfoot isn’t exactly something that you’d want to run into. It’s an eight foot tall, 700 pound ape/man covered in hair and emitting a gag-inducing odor of “smegma” (in laymans terms, er……I don’t know if I should…..well okay, it means that he smells like balls). They are nocturnal, have been “observed” reaching running speeds of nearly 40 mph, and are strong enough to pick up your average double-wide trailer. While you’re laughing, take note of the fact that the source of this information is a scientific research organization.

Pictured: Bigfoot or a guy in a gorilla suit. Either way, I’m not getting close enough to confirm using the smell test.

All hilarity aside, this guy fits the bill for a Carroll art-horror monster. He’s definitely disgusting and revolting, his strength and territoriality presents a threat to anyone he encounters, and he wouldn’t be considered part of our natural order (unless you think giant smelly hairy man/apes is normal). I haven’t investigated whether or not Sasquatch has been used in a horror film, but if this is not the case, then he would make a great art-horror film monster for you aspiring filmmakers.

II. The Yeti

The Yeti is, more or less, Asia’s version of Bigfoot, also known as “The Abominable Snowman.”

Like this, only WAY more abominable.

Researching the Yeti online has been difficult, presumably for two reasons: the Yeti and Bigfoot are apparently so alike, and the Yeti lives in the freaking Himalayas, and nobody wants to climb a mountain to figure out whether a mythical beast is real or not. There is some information regarding the Yeti online, but as could be expected, much of this does not come from scholarly sources. According to the Occultapedia, the Yeti is a two meter tall (6’6” for the metrically challenged), hair covered man/ape that inhabits the snow-covered Himalayas. While I haven’t uncovered any accounts of the Yeti’s stench, we can only assume that if he’s anything like his American cousin, the Yeti stinks on ice. Another source notes that Yeti’s have reportedly raided villages for crops, preceded by a high pitched scream, and have been known to mate with human women (hey, even legendary horrifying beasts can be romantic).

“I’m gonna steal your dinner and your girlfriend!!”

The Yeti, like his cousin Sasquatch, has a lot of art-horror potential, for much of the same reasons. This monster, as described above, does not seem to fit in the natural order of things (though I’m not an authority on the natural order of the Himalayas). Keeping in mind the accounts of pillaging, the Yeti is also threatening towards humans. As far as disgusting and revolting is concerned, I think it’s safe to say that even the demon from Tourneur’s film would be disgusted by anything related to Sasquatch.

III. The Loch Ness Monster

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Oddly enough, the only one of our characters so far to have “monster” in its name is one that would disappoint would be art-horror fiction writers and filmmakers. The Loch Ness Monster is a marine lizard related to a dinosaur that, according to researcher Mike Everheart, is something of a snake/turtle combination. This creature could be considered disgusting. However, the Official Loch Ness Monster Website claims that Nessie (as it is affectionately known) only eats small fish, which doesn’t make it very threatening to humans. In fact, it seems to be viewed as a sort of national pet. Furthermore, considering that unclassified rare aquatic life is not out of the realm of reality, it wouldn’t necessarily be anything out of the natural order. Without adding any other fictionaly element to the “real” Loch Ness Monster, it would work better as another typical Pixar animated kids movie than an art-horror flick.

IV. Why would anybody want to find these things?

While the “evidence” of these monsters’ existence is shaky at best, who is to say that Bigfoot, the Yeti, or the Loch Ness Monster don’t exist. What’s more, there are people who are actively searching for them! They take trips into the wilderness where Sasquatch supposedly roams, and they sound the depths of Loch Ness with sonar in search of something looking like a dinosaur. This makes you wonder, who in their right mind would go looking for monsters, and not only monsters, but foul-smelling, angry, car throwing monsters?

These scholarly gentlemen, that’s who.

Carrold says that basically the reason we see art-horror films and read art-horror novels is that we’re attracted to the emotions that horror causes within us. So could the same not apply to that people who chase after Bigfoot and try to snap photos of the Loch Ness Monster? We might refer to these commonly as “adrenaline junkies.” Perhaps those people hunting Bigfoot aren’t crazy after all. Maybe they just like the prospect of being scared to death by a stinky nightmare. There’s that, and then there’s the popular notion that whoever finds Bigfoot and brings him to light is going to get filthy stinking rich. So for you non-believers keeping track, that makes them crazy, misguided, and greedy.

I ****ing love Bigfoot!!!!

Nonetheless, if you’re ever hiking in the Himalayas and you hear a high pitched screaming noise, my suggestion is: run. However, if you, like that Chinese girl in the most recent “The Mummy” flick (I’ve lost track of the numbers and subtitles) speak Yeti, you should be just fine.